“There are times when putting together a healthy meal is harder than you might imagine.”

Poor First Lady Michelle Obama!  What a life of misery she leads. On the campaign trail she brought us to tears with her tragic tale about the trials of finding fresh fruit, when she asked plaintively:

“Who’s got time to go to the fruit stand? Who can afford it, first of all?”

Alas, it it seems that things are no easier now that she’s ensconced at the White House.  She may have amazing arms and 20 attendants, but she still struggles mightily with arranging healthy meals. No doubt Marie Antoinette had similar woes at the Petit Trianon.   Luckily Dana Milbank is around to keep us informed of her endless struggles:

Let’s say you’re preparing dinner and you realize with dismay that you don’t have any certified organic Tuscan kale. What to do?

Here’s how Michelle Obama handled this very predicament Thursday afternoon:

The Secret Service and the D.C. police brought in three dozen vehicles and shut down H Street, Vermont Avenue, two lanes of I Street and an entrance to the McPherson Square Metro station. They swept the area, in front of the Department of Veterans Affairs, with bomb-sniffing dogs and installed magnetometers in the middle of the street, put up barricades to keep pedestrians out, and took positions with binoculars atop trucks. Though the produce stand was only a block or so from the White House, the first lady hopped into her armored limousine and pulled into the market amid the wail of sirens.

Then, and only then, could Obama purchase her leafy greens. "Now it’s time to buy some food," she told several hundred people who came to watch. "Let’s shop!"

Ever the heroic social justice advocate she proudly proclaims the benefits of the farmers market for the food stamp crowd:

Obama, in her brief speech to the vendors and patrons, handled the affordability issue by pointing out that people who pay with food stamps would get double the coupon value at the market. Even then, though, it’s hard to imagine somebody using food stamps to buy what the market offered: $19 bison steak from Gunpowder Bison, organic dandelion greens for $12 per pound from Blueberry Hill Vegetables, the Piedmont Reserve cheese from Everson Dairy at $29 a pound. Rounding out the potential shopping cart: $4 for a piece of "walnut dacquoise" from the Praline Bakery, $9 for a jumbo crab cake at Chris’s Marketplace, $8 for a loaf of cranberry-walnut bread and $32 for a bolt of yarn.

The first lady said the market would particularly appeal to federal employees in nearby buildings to "pick up some good stuff for dinner." Yet even they might think twice about spending $3 for a pint of potatoes when potatoes are on sale for 40 cents a pound at Giant. They could get nearly five dozen eggs at Giant for the $5 Obama spent for her dozen.

Let them eat walnut dacquoise!  (Read the rest here).  But lest one think that her tribulations end in the kitchen, be assured that our girdled First Lady is everywoman:

Michelle Obama said women are being “crushed by the current structure of our health care” because they often are responsible for taking care of family illnesses, arranging checkups and monitoring follow-up care.

“Women are the ones to do it,” she said to an audience of 140 people, including representatives from groups such as the Women’s Chamber of Commerce and the National Council of Negro Women. “Mothers are the ones that do it. And many women find themselves doing the same thing for their spouses.”

Noooooh!  We cannot let this stand! It’s like slavery or something!  I look forward to her next speech when she demands reparations for working women, wives, and mothers.  Until then, I urge her to stand in solidarity with the San Joaquin Valley farmers who cannot grow the healthy food she wants for her table (thanks to the idiot environmentalists who put smelts above people – many of whom work in her husband’s radical administration).

“We are their Willy Horton for 2009. We are the boogeyman for the right-wing and its echo chambers.”

Ha! Speaking of a “coarsening national dialogue”,  how’s this for a desperate play by ACORN’s Bertha Lewis?  When you’re caught red-handed and losing all credibility it’s time to dust off the old Leftie playbook, play the race card, and evoke the name of Willie Horton.  Surely this tactic (or is it a “strategy”?) is  in Obama’s dog-eared copy of Rules for Radicals somewhere.  This hilarious response is so filled with paranoid conspiracies it’s positively Trutheresque. 

Via Andrew Breitbart’s fabulous new muckraking website,  Big Government:

The relentless attacks on ACORN’s members, its staff and the policies and positions we promote are unprecedented.  An international entertainment conglomerate, disguising itself as a “news” agency (Fox), has expended millions, if not tens of millions of dollars, in their attempt to destroy the largest community organization of Black, Latino, poor and working class people in the country.  It is not coincidence that the most recent attacks have been launched just when health care reform is gaining traction.  It is clear they’ve had these tapes for months.

We are their Willy Horton for 2009.  We are the boogeyman for the right-wing and its echo chambers.  If ACORN did not exist, the right-wing would have needed to create us in order to achieve their agenda, their missions, their ideal, retrograde America.  This recent scam, which was attempted in San Diego, Los Angeles, Miami, New York, Philadelphia to name a few places, had failed for months before the results we’ve all recently seen.  I am appalled and angry; I cannot and I will not defend the actions of the workers depicted in the video, who have since been terminated.  But it is clear that the videos are doctored, edited, and in no way the result of the fabricated story being portrayed by conservative activist “filmmaker” O’Keefe and his partner in crime.  And, in fact, a crime it was – our lawyers believe a felony – and we will be taking legal action against Fox and their co-conspirators….

More hysterics from Bertha Lewis here. 

Earth to Bertha: Fox had nothing to do with it.  Their role was merely to do what the rest of the MSM failed to do, and report on the blockbuster story.  But hey, knock yourself out and waste a few more dollars that your organization scams from taxpayers by trying to sue Fox.   What’s a few thousand more when billions are earmarked in the Porkulus for your corrupt crime syndicate (staffed by oh- so-sweet domestic terrorist sympathizers)?

 

UPDATE:

Ixnay that Willie Horton thingy.