Idgit Watch

Energy czar proclaims: Vineyards threatened by global warming

Posted by danishova on February 4, 2009

Stay away from my wine, deniers!

California’s farms and vineyards could vanish by the end of the century, and its major cities could be in jeopardy, if Americans do not act to slow the advance of global warming, Secretary of Energy Steven Chu said Tuesday.

I had always heard that European vineyards and crops failed during the Little Ice Age because of shorter growing seasons, but that was before we had a new President to set me straight.

Chu is not a climate scientist. He won his Nobel for work trapping atoms with laser light. He taught at Stanford University and directed the Lawrence Berkeley National Laboratory, where he reoriented researchers to pursue “clean energy” technologies to help reduce the use of greenhouse-gas-emitting fossil fuels in the U.S., before Obama tapped him to head the Energy Department.

He’s a Nobel Prize winner like Al Gore, which is like waay better than being a climate scientist, so I trust him.

In the course of a half-hour interview, Chu made clear that he sees public education as a key part of the administration’s strategy to fight global warming — along with billions of dollars for alternative energy research and infrastructure, a national standard for electricity from renewable sources and cap-and-trade legislation to limit greenhouse gas emissions.

This is so cool. Let’s say you child is in Kindergarten now, and Obama is our President for 8 years.  By the time your child enters high school he will be be able to repeat talking points by heart and won’t even need to write on his hand to remember them.  They can go to Camp Climate Change during the summer, and train to join the global warming movement and be a soldier in a worldwide crusade.  This will mean the end to wars and famine!

Don’t tell anyone, but I’m going to start hoarding wine, just in case he’s wrong and the public schools don’t save the vineyards.  I don’t think he’s thought about all the kids who play hooky and stuff.


One Response to “Energy czar proclaims: Vineyards threatened by global warming”

  1. NotwithoutmyPants said

    Global warmign si the biggest fraud ever

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