Idgit Watch

Good News! ACLU threatens to sue after California school district rules that teenagers can’t leave campus to see doctors without parental consent

Posted by danishova on March 14, 2009

Oh what a tangled web we weave
When first we practice to deceive.

Fox News reports:

The ACLU is threatening to sue a California school district after it changed a policy to require teenagers get parental consent to leave campus for confidential medical services.

The Vista Unified School District board voted unanimously Thursday to change its existing policy that allowed students to be excused for confidential appointments — including abortions — without notifying parents, according to the North County Times.

The ACLU of San Diego County and the National Center for Youth Law claim the new policy violates state law, KPBS reported.

According to lawyers, California allows young people to leave school without parental consent to deal with sexual, mental, substance abuse or reproductive health issues, the station reported.

But school trustees say that depends on how the law is interpreted.

Several parents addressed the board saying under no circumstances would they want their children leaving school without their knowledge, especially to seek medical procedures that could include an abortion, the Times reported.

You’re kidding! Do you mean to tell me that even in fruits-and-nutsy California there are parents who oppose this conspiracy to deceive parents – an act which completely undermines their ability to function as guardians, and breaks the bond of trust between parents and their children? Gosh, I would have thought that they’d be all for policies which serve to make liars of their children, with the explicit endorsement of government schools.  Why, it’s their little secret *wink wink*, you know, kinda like how sexual deviants abuse children while admonishing them not to tell mommy and daddy.

Others expressed concern over students who face parental abuse.

"Often the kids would rather die than tell their parents," local pediatrician John Rott said. "I think the effect on our most vulnerable children will be a negative one."

Right, because it’s so much better for vulnerable minors to face dangerous and controversial medical issues with life-changing consequences alone, without their parents knowledge or consent.  Children must be empowered to function without parental involvement.  To assume that children can’t handle these burdens alone is a discriminatory act of ageism.  Parents need to butt out – the government will take care of everything.

Sure, a school nurse may still be available for the child to deal with some medical and psychological issues. But that service pales in comparison to the distinct advantages available to a child who is empowered to sneak around and secretly visit a shrink, or drug and alcohol counselor, in the hopes of fixing any pesky mental health issues (and obviously a nurse can’t perform abortions).  But why stop there?  What is a troubled child in crisis to do on weekends when the schools are closed?  And what if a child begins failing classes because they’ve missing so many of them during their confidential medical visits?  Wouldn’t it be better to make this an after school activity?

Perhaps Obama should propose that we really, really “expand the number of nurses” he intends to use for ‘’visits to disorganized homes” so they are available to completely take over for parents, adding doctors and pediatricians to the mix too.  Why, it’ll be just like the good old days, when doctors routinely made home visits.  But we must not limit this to high school students – don’t middle-school students get pregnant and experiment with drugs and alcohol too?

Of course arranging these super-secret home-visits would require some ingenuity.  They would need to plot to schedule these appointments when mommy and daddy are at work,  at church, or elsewhere engaged.  Little Janie could feign a headache, wave goodbye to her parents, and let the medical technician in through the back door.  It’s just a little white lie, right?  No harm, no foul, and all that.

Wait!!  Perhaps doctors actually could alert parent(s) that they are coming over to attend to a confidential medical issue!  They could simply instruct the annoying parent(s) to mind their own business and stay out of the way.  Maybe they could make the parents feel involved by asking them to fix the Doc a pot of coffee, or boil some water while they examine children in the privacy of their own bedrooms. 

I even have the perfect theme song to use as we hum along with these bold initiatives in the name of hope, change, and progress:

Hey, Big Nanny, spend a little time with me…


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