GIVE Act passes the house: Grab your kids…Universal Serfitude youth programs coming soon.
Posted by danishova on March 19, 2009
The Generations Invigorating Volunteerism and Education (GIVE) Act just passed the house. I think we should call it the TAKE act. Can anyone come up with an appropriate title for the bill that works with the acronym “TAKE”? The cost? Volunteering is going cost taxpayers $5 Billion dollars .
Service Nation (whose website oh so coincidentally has the domain name of “be the change dot org”) spins it here. Some highlights follow, which I’ll translate for you, using my handy dandy Obama Language Dictionary and the official Obama Encyclopedia:
Creates 175,000 New Service Opportunities and Rewards Americans for Commitment…Grows the number of volunteers nationwide to 250,000, up from 75,000. The bill also links the full-time education award to the maximum authorized Pell Grant award amount in order to keep up with rising college costs.
Translation: This bill takes your tax dollars and redistributes it to people who will be paid exorbitant rates to perform useless tasks. These people could voluntarily join the military if they’re eager to serve, but we don’t want to create any more baby killers. These people could work in the private sector and earn money and valuable skills which will serve them their entire lives, but businesses and corporations are evil and deserve to fail. They could do what thousands of people already do “in their communities” and …hang on for this…volunteer their time to serve for…free, but that’s so last century. In short, this bill “rewards Americans for their commitment” to confiscating taxpayer dollars while enhancing their self-esteem by convincing them that they are noble and good.
Provides Incentives for Middle and High School Students to Engage in Service
Translation: Schools will not receive government funding unless they agree to establish serfitude programs.
Establishes the Summer of Service program that engages middle and high school students
in volunteer activities in their communities and allows them to earn a $500 education
award to be used for college costs.
Your child will be forced to participate, but, hey, we’ll take taxpayer dollars and recycle them to pay your serf-child a generous $500, which is less than they could earn with voluntary summer jobs in the private sector of their choosing, but it’s all about sacrifice now. The $500 our youth will earn is also less than what the parents of will pay in extra taxes to cover the serfitude program, but you’ll be feeling so proud and patriotic you won’t notice. Parents will be dis-incentivized to “redistribute” that $500 directly to their children as they might have formerly choosen to do, because they now have “opportunities” to run in through the phosphate-free government money laundering cycle.
Recognizes and Supports Colleges and Universities Engaged in Service.
Translation: Once again, colleges and universities who participate will receive Federal funds. If not, say goodbye to your funding, suckers.
Establishes the Campuses of Service to support and recognize institutions of higher
education with exemplary service-learning programs and assists students in the pursuit of
public service careers.
Translation: The government will guide your children to work in public service careers, like, say, at ACORN Housing, which benefit the Democrat Party.
Creates Green and Other New Service Corps to Meet Key Needs in Low-Income Communities
Translation: Taxpayers will cover the costs of hiring “volunteers” to caulk other people’s windows and doors – a task which is clearly beyond the capabilities of people who live in low-income communities.
Expands the focus of the National Civilian Community Corps (NCCC) to include disaster
relief, infrastructure improvement, environmental and energy conservation, and urban
and rural development.
Translation: We’re going to put a bunch of inexperienced Obamatons to work at inflated wages to pick up the garbage, spin compost, and recycle your tax dollars.
Encourages service partnerships with other federal agencies.
Translation: Federal agencies will only dole out money to people who ‘”engage” youth in serfitude.
Recruits Scientists and Engineers to Service to Keep America Competitive
Translation: Businesses won’t be able to do this on their own after we get finish bankrupting them, so here’s where we step in..
Expands Service Opportunities for Older Americans and Public-Private Partnerships
Translation: You are going to work for that Social Security check, suckers.
Creates a nationwide community-based infrastructure to leverage investments in service
Translation: Do you like how we “leveraged” the banks with the Community Reinvestment Act and Fannie/Freddie? That was just the beginning. Just wait until we get a hold of your kids.
Includes a Call to Service Campaign to launch a national campaign encouraging all
Americans to engage in service and to observe September 11th as a National Day of
Service and Remembrance.
Translation: Your tax dollars will be used to run in-your-face advertising from our great leader. Rejoice! Your kids will get a day off from school to show off their Barack Obama posters, while you “remember” what this country was like before it became a glorious soup kitchen.
Fox News reports on this here.
The Real Barack Obama (formerly Rezco Watch?) dials in, in excruciating detail here.
A.A.R.P. spokesdude loves it. (heartbreakingly – in the Washington Times)
R.B.O. has more, citing John Batchelor, who calls it taxation without representation, and goes on to say:
Charlie Rangel (left), Democrat of New York, who has intimate knowledge of the IRS skill set, spoke as the all-powerful Cardinal of the Ways and Means Committee, “….The American people demand protection.”
Heh. There isn’t a condom big enough to protect us from the likes of you and your tax hiking/tax dodging comrades in Congress and at Treasury, Charlie.
Planet Moron has a fabulous take on the idiocy of this legislation, and points out something I missed entirely:
Besides, the bill (.PDF file) also requires looking into:
“The need for a public service academy, a 4-year institution that offers a federally funded undergraduate education with a focus on training future public sector leaders.”
Hey, they can save money on one thing; they have a logo all ready to go: