Danishova

Idgit Watch

“Elvis the white nigger ate at Burger King and just kept getting bigger”

Posted by danishova on May 13, 2009

Bono is a great songwriter, but clearly he is a terrible poet.  Above and beyond the “offensive” words, this is downright embarrassing:

Few would dispute that Bono knows how to write a song, but can the U2 frontman pen a poem?

This morning, he offered his skills up for public scrutiny by unveiling an ode to Elvis Presley on Radio 4.

In his familiar gravelly voice, the 49-year-old rock icon delivered a fast-paced, 14-minute tribute to The King.

Recorded two years ago, but written in 1994, the poem, entitled American David, contained an array of strange and risqué rhymes set to a musical backing track made up of Elvis tunes and other pop culture recordings from the last 50 years.

A warning about the poem’s language preceded the airing, as a series of offensive words including “nigger” and “spastic” were employed.

While Bono considers himself a “super fan” of Elvis, he didn’t shy away from his famous flaws. One rhyming triplet played on the singer’s long weight battle: “Elvis the bumper stickers/ Elvis the white knickers/ Elvis the white nigger ate at Burger King and just kept getting bigger.”

Another took aim at his iconic dance move: “Elvis the ecstatic/ Elvis the plastic/ Elvis the elastic with a spastic dance that could explain the energy of America.”

But other lines told of the U2 singer’s admiration, as he called the late pin-up "pharoah-like", a "genius" and a "psalmist".

Open link to hear Bono recite drivel.  More of Bono’s bad poetry here.

But which poetry is worse? Bono’s or Barack’s?:

UNDERGROUND

Under water grottos, caverns
Filled with apes
That eat figs.
Stepping on the figs
That the apes
Eat, they crunch.
The apes howl, bare
Their fangs, dance,
Tumble in the
Rushing water,
Musty, wet pelts
Glistening in the blue.

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